If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
