Me. At least after what I've been through.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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