I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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