are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
