next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
