Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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