drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
