Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
