At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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