That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
