Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
