i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i came on her dog
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
