dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
