Im at strip club and am horny
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Randomize
