This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
