OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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