Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize