Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize