My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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