he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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