I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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