I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
