I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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