member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
