why didn't you poke me back
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
