Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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