so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
