I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
