I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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