yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
birth control should be required to get into college
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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