just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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