Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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