I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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