I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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