I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
time to smoke my breakfast
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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