One girl and one boy is just not enough.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
God, I missed his penis.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
