like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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