Sry I called you an 8
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
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