I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
