He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Randomize
