I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
