After last night, I could never be a politician.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i think my cat just said my name.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
