i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
