i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
