I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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