She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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