What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
