I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
