Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
