Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
this just has baby written all over it
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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