so let's talk penis.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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