Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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