my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
