I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
