Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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