You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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