..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
