Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
