kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
