She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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