You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I love you. Go after that dick
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
