he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize